


Tears of Time

by AydiTiger



Series: Tears of time [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Abuse, Androids feel pain, Anxiety, Father-Son Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Multi, Mutism, Nightmares, Rape, Recovery, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Set after the pacifist ending, Trauma, hurt Connor, mute connor, scared connor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 17:33:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15562899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AydiTiger/pseuds/AydiTiger
Summary: Connor comes home one night, wounded, abused and scared. Hank tries to find out what happened and who did this to him, only to discover that Connor has become mute. Hank, Markus and the others tries to help Connor as good as they can and will do anything to catch the ones that hurt him. (Has been fully edited)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Detroit Become Human fanfic so it probably sucks and English isn't my first language so some words or sentences may look a little weird. Anyway, on with the story!

It’s been a little over a month since the successful and peaceful revolution and the androids and humans lived mostly in peace with each other. There was off course still humans that hated them, but most of them didn’t really have a problem with them and it was now a crime to hurt androids. Marcus and the others were spread out around the city, some even owned houses now and had families. Those who didn’t have a place to stay yet lived in the new Jericho with Markus, Simon, North and Josh. Markus and Simon had even started a love relationship since it didn’t work along with him and North because of the differences between them, Markus tried to be calm and peaceful while North was more off a strict person and was still not found of humans. She accepted that they were together, though, and if she was jealous, she didn’t show it. She seemed more proud of them actually.

Connor lived with Hank and Sumo. They continued to solve crimes together and seeing Connor by Hank’s side was a normal sight to the other workers at the DPD and they had also become fond of the android as well. Even Gavin had stopped treating him like shit, for the most part anyway, and they could at least be in the same room without him calling him stuff, especially when Hank was close by, or give him hateful glares he had done when Connor had first arrived to the station. Even if Connor was a deviant now and could decide things on his own he didn’t mind working at all, Hank had even asked him once and he had assured him that this was what he wanted. Connor liked working and Fowler was glad that someone wasn’t complaining about work and had let him stay.

 

The snow had slowly started to melt away and the sun shined on the half-clouded sky, peaking thru the clouds. Connor and Hank had left early for work, thanks to Connor who always said it was better to be early than late despite Hank’s moaning over being woken up. Connor reminded Hank of Cole when he did that, back when Hank had to take Cole to school and the little boy used to wake up before him despite his own promises to wake _him_ up. And since the revolution Hank began to see Connor’s real nature he still would try and hide, he had the same curiosity and innocence as a small child despite his intelligence and when he had started talking he never shut up, even if Hank told him so, and when he would look at Hank with those brown, innocent, apologetic eyes he would sigh and let him continue whatever he had been talking about.

This day was like any other long day with not so many crimes, but as it was time to go home and Hank put on his jacket and was about to leave the office, Connor stayed at his desk and was looking thru his paper work and computer.

-Ya coming, Connor?”

-Yes, Lieutenant, I’m just going to finish my work and then I’ll go. You can go before me.” he said politely.

-You sure?”

-Yes, I promise to finish my work as quick as I can. I’ll get a taxi.”

He was always like that with work, always wanted to finish things, make things done.

-Alright, be sure to hurry, it’s still getting hella dark out there quickly. And Connor, call me Hank, ok?” he asked for probably the hundredth time.

-Got it.” Connor said with a smile, answering both “commands”. Hank turned to leave with most of the other workers, a few were still there so Connor wasn’t alone, but Hank couldn’t help but felt slightly worried and gave a last glance towards his friend. _He would be fine._

 

He heard Sumo’s loud, happy barking inside the otherwise quiet house as he parked the car and stepped out, walked over to the door. When he unlocked it, Sumo was by his feet in a sec and drool was all over him as the dog jumped and tried to lick him.

~~-~~ Aright, alright, Sumo.” he said as he patted his head. “Hungry?” the dog ran to his bottle as if he knew what he meant, and Hank filled the bowl up to the edge, some bits of food hit the floor, but Sumo didn’t mind, this was heaven for him, and he quickly began to eat.

-Your favorite friend will come home later today.” Hank said to the dog that just continued to eat his food without a care in the world.

 

Hank sat down in the sofa with a bottle of whiskey and turned on the tv and switched to a football game and could finally relax after another long day at work, and wouldn’t have to have Connor complaining about his drinking, for a while anyway... Some minutes later, Sumo jumped up on the sofa beside him and laid down, his big body covering most of the sofa, laying his head on Hank’s lap. He sighed but was too tired to order him to get down and just let him stay and patted his head and scratched behind his ears. After a good while of waiting, worry started to fill Hank again, he had even barely touched his whiskey on the table. Connor was still not home. _Has something happened?_ His fatherly instincts began to take over, but he tried to shake that feeling of. _Connor is a fucking police android, made to fight, he could take care of himself._ The kid had proven that many times on their missions. _But still…_

The fact it was dark outside and he had promised to be home by now, and he always came in time, made Hank lose focus over what he was watching, the images just flashed without no pattern before him and Sumo seemed to feel his worry because he licked his hand and snuggled closer to calm him, that Connor would be home soon. But when some more long minutes had past, he glanced at the clock, it has been over an hour and he still wasn’t home. _The hell_? 

Just as Hank was about to rise the hell up and start looking for that idiot, the door was thrown open, then slammed shut with a loud sound that filled the house and Sumo jumped and whined in surprise before he ran to the hall to greet his second owner, but then Hank heard more whimpering and he quickly stood up and hurried over to the hall as well.

 -The hell have you been, Con?! I have been worried sick...”

 He paused and his body froze when he saw what had caused Sumo to whimper and now look up at him in worry. His heart dropped. Connor was standing close to the door, almost pressed himself against the wall, was frozen in place, held shaking hands close to his chest that raised and fell far too quickly as if he was trying to control his breathing, and stared at the other wall before him, as if he was paralyzed. But what had first caught Hank’s eye were that his LED was flashing red in the half dark. He had learned from his time with Connor that it meant that the android in question was feeling threatened or upset and his head was twitching slightly. His formal clothes he took so good care of was dirty and slightly torn and he had some gashes and blue blood was coming from a wound on his shoulder and the side of his head, the tie was loose.

-C-Connor?” Hank said again, softer this time as he felt his anger turn into concern in a split second. Connor lifted his head to look back at him, but his eyes were not entirely focused on Hank at all. The side of his face had a bruise, as if someone had hit him hard and blood ran down from his nose like the gash that he now noticed on the side of Connor’s neck. His eyes held total fear and tears were pouring down his face, but he didn’t answer and immediately looked away again, looking like he would pass out any moment. Hank was about to say something more, but the lump that was forming in his throat made him swallow his words and he could only stare at him. He has never seen him cry or be so… scared before. Sumo continued to whimper, knew that something was terribly wrong with Connor. Hank walked closer, slowly so he wouldn’t scare the terrified android more.

-Kid, what the hell happened?” he swore, the lump made him loose his normal strong, gruff voice. “Who did this to you?”

Connor still didn’t say anything, only those gasping sobs came from him and his body was visibly shaking. Hank never thought androids needed to breathe at all, but it didn’t matter now. He moved to put a hand on his shoulder and Connor’s body tensed, he even pressed himself more against the corner as Hank’s hand barely touched him, panic in his eyes. Hank stopped what he was doing and withdrew his hand. Whatever had happened, it sure had scared the hell out of him.

 -I’m not going to hurt you, Connor...” He said with unease. But after some seconds of staring, Connor tried to walk past him, stumbling slightly as he tried to avoid him. Hank by instinct carefully took him by the arm and his breathing immediately hitched and he shook with a new vigor. Hank froze, thought Connor was going to self-destruct right there and then and was about to let go again when Connor suddenly threw himself into his arms with a strangled cry, burying his face against his shoulder as he cried softly. Hank was shocked for a moment before he wrapped his arms around him, held him closer, felt the android shake violently from the force of his crying, his sobs muffled by the fabric of Hank’s t-shirt. Hank rubbed his back, like a father calming his child, stroked the top of his head, tried to avoid the bruise. Tears and blue blood were soaking him but he didn’t care right now.

-Shh, shh, I’m here, Connor. It’s alright. What happened? Please, talk to me.”

He asked again, almost whispered, trying to get answers from the distressed android, but he only held into him tighter and continued to cry. He carefully led him to the bathroom and made him sit down so he could carefully take off his torn and bloody clothes and take care of his wounds, he didn’t miss the way Connor curled up slightly when he touched him and that he was more exposed. Hank, now in the bathroom’s light, could see the wound on his neck more clearly, it looked as if someone had cut right thru it. But what disturbed Hank the most, even as he _tried_ to ignore it and not stare, was the blood covering Connors pants and... It was as if his heart stopped beating for a sec.

 

_Don’t fucking tell me that…_

 

But it couldn’t be anything else, and Hank wasn’t stupid. He swallowed before he quickly moved and took one of the small hand towels to wrap it around Connor’s neck in a desperate try to stop the blood that still came from the wound, normal bandage probably wouldn’t stop the bleeding since android blood wasn’t like human blood. He hoped it would help somewhat until Connor would be able could heal it himself or how it now worked. Connor’s body went rigid as he got close to him.

-I’m just gonna wrap this around your neck, alright?”

Hank said calmly when he noticed this “I’m not gonna hurt you.” He wasn’t sure if Connor even nodded in approval or not, but he let him carefully wrap it around his neck. Hank then started to carefully clean away the rest of the blood on him. Connor would let out soft whimpers or hiss thru his teeth when Hank’s touched his wounds, other than that, he didn’t make a single sound. When Hank was done he took out a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt, that were a little too big for Connor, that he had bought for him not long ago. He frowned when he saw that his LED was still red and he still held that faraway look in his eyes. When he was dressed, he sat down by the bathtub, leaning his back against it. Hank knelt down before him, putting a hand on his shoulder, which Connor now allowed, felt his own eyes well up with tears, but he didn’t let them fall. He needed to stay strong for Connor now. But he sure was worried, and the fact Connor hadn’t said a word since he came thru the door made it even worse. He was now wringing his hands nervously and was staring down. He looked so fucking small and weak like this, Hank didn’t like it one bit.

-Connor?” he said with the softest voice he could muster, trying to make him react, _fucking say something_. But nothing.

-Son,” he continued as he tried to look him in the eyes.

 “Whatever the fuck happened, you are home now, ok? It’s alright.”

 He finally looked up into Hank’s eyes for the first time, his dark brown eyes had lost all its warmth and happiness, they were hollow and scared. But also something like guilt… or even shame. The sight and the silence were unnerving.

He then glanced away, seemed completely lost again, as if he was having a battle inside his own head, before he suddenly started to scratch at his own wrists desperately, clearly had no idea what he was doing. Hank immediately pried them apart before Connor could make himself bleed. Scratch marks covered his artificial skin. The only noises in the room were Connor’s fast breathing and whimpers and Hank’s soft whisperings of comfort. He had no idea what to do, had never seen Connor act like this before. Usually he barely showed any fear, had almost killed himself many times just to accomplish his mission or to protect Hank and others and Hank would scold him afterwards. But now he looked so small, lost and hurt. Hank’s blood began to boil, whoever had done this to him, he swore he would kill the bastard who hurt him like this. His thoughts were interrupted when Connor collapsed against him again, buried his face against him with a small whimper and weakly held into him again. Hank immediately held him close.

-It’s ok now. I’ve got you, I’ve got you.” He soothed over and over again as he held him for a moment before he helped him up and let him lean against him as they went to the bedroom where he let him lay down. He immediately curled up before Hank laid down beside him. He had left the bathroom lights on, but he didn’t bother to turn them off, a little light wouldn’t hurt. The small light even seemed to make Connor more at ease. He was holding into himself as if he was freezing or still in pain. He wasn’t sobbing anymore but tears still came. Hank held him close to him for the rest of the night. He would probably feel embarrassed tomorrow over that he had slept in Hank’s bed if he knew Connor right, but he needed him now and Hank could _defiantly_ not leave him when he was in this state. He would call Fowler the first thing he did in the morning, he would understand. Hank barely slept at all for the rest of the night, made sure Connor wasn’t hurting himself and would hold him slightly tighter when he would whimper softly in his “sleep”. Sumo was laying down on the floor close to the bed, made sure no more harm came to Connor.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Hank had only managed to sleep for about two hours under the whole night and woke up early in the morning with a weak headache but couldn’t make himself go to sleep again. He needed to call Fowler too anyway. Connor was still laying curled up beside him and even when Hank tried to move away as careful as he could, the android stirred and opened his eyes and glanced around, dazed. Hank gave him a gentle smile.

-Hi there, kiddo.” He said in an unusual soft voice, Connor looked up at him and gave a ghost of a smile and a weak nod as if he said Good morning. “Feeling better?”

It took a moment before Connor answered that, his LED was yellow as he glanced down before he gave him half a shrug, avoiding his gaze. Hank knew he was far from fine, but he was at least a little more aware now and wasn’t unresponsive like before. He carefully put a hand on his shoulder. Connor went still but didn’t flinch away from his calming touch, understood Hank wasn’t going to hurt him.

-We will stay home for now on until we get this sorted out, ok? You can go back to sleep or whatever the fuck you androids call it.”

As expected, Connor looked down again at his hands he held close to his chest, looked clearly upset by this and guilty, his eyes clearly said _“But lieutenant, I’m fine…”_

-No ‘buts’, Connor, you aren’t fine, you can’t fucking go to work like this. You needed a break anyway. I’ll call Fowler, he will understand.”

Connor still looked disappointed but didn’t argue any further, only gave him a nod that was barely visible.

-Good, go back to sleep now, alright?” Hank said softly before he gave his shoulder a pat and stood up to get some clothes. Connor still looked exhausted and his LED still hadn’t returned to its calm blue color, it stayed as yellow. Even if it wasn’t red anymore he still looked so miserable. But he had actually closed his eyes to go to sleep again, “ _Good thing he listened to me for once_.” Hank thought. As he made his way to the bathroom he saw that Sumo was staying in the bedroom with Connor, which meant Connor wasn’t going to be alone when he woke up and Sumo has always been a soft spot for Connor and something he would find comfort in when Hank wasn’t around.

-Good dog, Sumo.” He whispered. Once he had dressed he went to the living room to call Fowler. It didn’t take long for him to answer and at first, he sounded confused and slightly irritated when he said he and Connor would stay at home for some days, but when Hank told him Connor’s state, he sounded genially concerned when he spoke up again:

-Take the time you need, tell him to get well soon from me and the others, ok?”

-I will.”

He let out a soft sigh when he hung up, felt his headache come to life again and started to make his morning coffee, filled Sumo’s bowl with food as he waited for it to be done. Sumo didn’t even run in to eat like he usually did when he got fed, he sure was as worried as Hank was. Hank glanced over at the window, it was blowing outside and some cars drove by, people about to drive to work and such. It was cloudy, making the already uneasy feeling in the house get even worse. It was so quiet. It didn’t even help when Hank turned on the tv. He was used to see Connor awake and well at this time, talking, mostly about the cases but sometimes about everything else. Hank had ever since he had first meet Connor thought he was a very talkable person, it had just irritated him at first, but it soon became the charm of Connor, making small talks, ask questions and Hank would tell him to shut up, both knew he never meant it in a mean way. But now he really missed Connor’s soft voice that would lighten up the mood even in the darkest times, the house almost felt empty even if Hank knew Connor was in his bedroom sleeping. Who could have done this to him, and why? What the fuck had the person done? He had an idea in the back of his head, what he didn’t want to belive, it scared him, made him feel sick. He filled his cup with the warm coffee and sat down in the sofa, put the cup on the small table, holding his head in his hand. He didn’t really trust Cyberlife to help Connor, but he could ask Markus and the others, they could help somehow. Until Connor was ready, Hank would try and help him as good as he could…

****                                

Connor slowly began to wake up from his stasis, immediately felt a warm body beside him, it was Sumo who had jumped up and was now curled up beside him. He patted him on the head and the Saint Bernard wagged his tail and licked him in the face. Connor glanced around for a sec, got aware of his surroundings, he was really home. _Home and safe_. He could hear the television’s soft noises in the living room, Hank was home. Even if Connor felt a little guilty over that Hank was home because of him, a big part of him was glad that he was here. He slowly began to sit up, how long has he been asleep? He didn’t know. His head was still pounding but his body didn’t hurt that much anymore, his wounds had started to heal and there were no warnings that filled his vison other than he needed some thirium, but he still felt so weak and hurt somehow. It was as if he could still _feel…_ hands on him, heard the taunting words echo in his head.

He felt… sick…

He stood up and had to use the wall for support so he wouldn’t fall. He was still weak, and he hated it. He had even slept in Hank’s bed, been crying like a fucking child. _A burden_.

_“You really are pathetic. So **fucking** weak and pathetic!”_

_Pain_

He didn’t want to feel like this. Didn’t like what it did to him. Why was he feeling this way? This wasn’t… normal, was it? He was home now… he shouldn’t…

Sumo jumped down and eyed him carefully, standing close in case Connor needed help. He managed to walk up to the door by himself. He hesitated for a sec before he walked out, as quickly as he could, as if he tried to escape the voices, the things that still seemed to hurt him, as if they would stay in the bedroom. He was soon by the living room, was soon greeted by Hank.

-Hi there, Connor.” He turned, felt somewhat calm again and forgot about the taunting voices in his head for the moment.

“You good?”

he nodded slightly, didn’t trust his voice, didn’t know if it didn’t work still or if it did, but he didn’t want to hear his voice anyway, it wouldn’t sound like him. It would just sound _pathetic._

-Fowler and the others wished you to get better soon.” Hank continued, snapping Connor back to reality again “There is still some of that thirium thing in the kitchen if you need some.” he continued his walk to the kitchen before Hank had time to ask if he needed help and went over to the cabinet they stored his thirium. When he reached for the handle, he glanced down at his wrist for a sec, saw the almost healed scratch marks. But, he still felt… felt unfamiliar hands on him, hold him, hurt him. He felt his hands vibrate slightly, they felt the need to scratch again, get the feeling away. _Get it **off**_. _Destroy himself_. His had barely noticed his breathing came faster as well and the worried whimpers from Sumo felt far away.

**_“Freak!”_ **

**_“Stand up, you fucker!”_ **

**_“Hit him again!”_ **

**_Hits._ **

**_Pain._ **

**_Hands._ **

**> STRESS LEVELS- 50%**

\- Connor? Ya alright?” he suddenly heard Hank’s voice ask from the living room, and Connor shook himself from his trance and finally opened the cabinet to get the thirium, his breathing had calmed down slightly. He went back to Hank who looked like he had been about get up and see if he was ok, only to relax into the sofa again when he saw him. Connor sat down beside him like he always did, but now as far away as he could and there was this tension in the air he didn’t like. He remembered when he, Hank and Sumo would just sit in the sofa and watch tv in the stillness of the house. Hank’s voice beside him took him once again back to reality. He glanced at him, by the looks of him, he must have said his name a few times but he hadn’t heard him.

-You want me to call Markus? See if he and the others can help you?”

Connor froze, _no no no, he can’t let them see him like this, no one else. It was enough that Hank had seen him last night._ He hadn’t meant for him to see him like that at all. But he knew he wouldn’t have been able to hide himself from him once had had come back anyway. Connor had never needed help, shouldn’t need any, he was just a thing, a machine you could break as much as you wanted, throw away or just replace again, why did Hank care? He shook his head.

-Son, you are hurt, let them help you. Don’t fucking act like nothing happened yesterday, Connor, it doesn’t work like that…”

Connor looked away, focused on the corner of the television and suddenly felt so small. Hank sighed softly, clearly wasn’t used to Connor being so quiet. Hank was right like always. _He wasn’t fine,_ he felt so many emotions, half of them he didn’t even know what they meant and _why_ he was feeling them. But it didn’t matter. _He didn’t matter_. Why couldn’t everything just get normal again?

_“Don’t fucking move, I said, or I will kill you.”_

_Someone holding him down…_

**> STRESS LEVELS- 70%**

He was panicking again, but why? He had no reason to. What was wrong with him? He brought up his knees close to himself, wrapped his arms around them. Sumo began to whimper again. Hank was now watching him with worry. Connor didn’t want him to worry, didn’t want anyone worry about him. He wanted to tell him he was alright. Anything. But he couldn’t _._ The inability to even answer made him feel worse _. What use was he even now? He couldn’t even speak_. Hank moved slightly closer, making Connor move away. He didn’t want anyone close to him, didn’t deserve Hank’s comfort, didn’t deserve…

_“I sure will have my fun with you, plastic freak.”_

**> WARNING: STRESS LEVELS- 80%**

He didn’t want anyone to touch him, he _shouldn’t_ be touched.

_He was… disgusting._

He didn’t know why, but those thoughts were the only thing coming to his mind as he tried to get even further away, wanted to just stand up and leave to calm down, but his body didn’t listen to him anymore either. All he could do was to sit there, half curled up, as if that would help. Hank was talking to him again, but he could barely hear him. He was shaking so much it almost hurt. He tried his hardest to calm himself, but the voices continued in his head. He didn’t want to hear those damn voices anymore. Didn’t want to feel like this. His panic only grew when his stress level continued to rise and rise…

**> WARNING: STRESS LEVELS- 90%**

_Hank._

_Dad_.

Hank’s heart began to pound faster in his chest as he looked at Connor. He was hyperventilating. Hank wanted to hug him again, tell him that it was alright, but when he tried to get closer, he curled up and tried to get away from him, pressed himself against the corner of the sofa. His LED was flashing red again. Hank moved away a little.

-Connor…” he whispered. “Hey, you are alright. No one is going to hurt you.”

But Connor didn’t react, as if he didn’t hear him. _Fuck._ He moved slightly closer again. Connor was crying, looked like a terrified child or an abused animal ready to be hit. Hank couldn’t take it anymore and moved to sit right beside him and held him close, spoke reassuring nonsense while Connor vibrated and let his head rest against his chest. He opened his mouth ever so slightly, tried to say something, _wanted_ to say something, but only a weak static whimper escaped him, and he covered his ears with his hands and pressed himself closer to Hank who held him even tighter. Hank’s heart was by now breaking into pieces. He wished Connor could speak to him, tell him what happened, what was wrong, but knew that Connor was unable to. He felt so helpless, just like when Cole had died. All he could do was to hold him, show him that he was there. That he was safe. Sumo immediately went over to the sofa as well, snuggled his big head against Connor’s leg. They sat like that for a good five minutes, Connor’s body slowly relaxed and his breathing calmed down.

-You still with me, kid?”

A nod.

Hank remembered that Connor’s coin was on the table from when he had taken it out from Connor’s pocket on his suit when he had been asleep.

-I have your coin over here, you want it?”

Another tired nod. Hank leaned over to grab it, still holding Connor as close as possible, and Connor quickly took the coin from his hand and started to fiddle with it, like he always did when he was stressed or bored, but mostly just held into it. He looked up at him, gratitude in his eyes. Hank smiled slightly and patted his shoulder.

-You’re welcome, kid.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone that has left kudos, bookmarks and even reviewed this story, I wasn't expecting that or all the views this story got. It warms my little heart :)

Hank gave Connor one of his old note books so he could talk to him in another way. He didn’t touch it at all, didn’t want to mention anything that has happened, or _anything_ for that matter. When Hank had tried to ask him, he would just freeze up or look away, almost in shame. It didn’t help how much Hank tried to talk to him or calm him. He was for the most part just staring at the tv screen, unresponsive, his LED flashed yellow and sometimes red even if Sumo was lying beside him with his head on his lap and tried to give him comfort. Hank had no idea what to do….

Sometime later, Connor had managed to fall into stasis again and Hank decided to call Markus.

It didn’t take long for him to come to his house. Once Markus had opened the door, Sumo immediately ran to greet him, jumping and almost knocked him down.

-Hi there, Sumo, was it?” Markus said with a smile while he patted him on the head and then looked at Hank.

-Greetings, Hank. Was a while ago since we meet.”

-Yes, indeed. How is it going with you and the others?”

-Just fine, thank you. More and more are getting paid jobs and families already.”

-Sounds great. And how is it, um, going between you, North and Simon? Connor mentioned once that you and Simon are together.”

-North took it well actually. There are no hard feelings between us.” Markus said with a smile before he turned neutral again. “How are you then, Hank? Despite what has happened?”

-Fine, I guess, but worried.”

-I understand that. How is he?”

-He’s resting right now” he motioned towards the living room with his head before he continued “He had a breakdown before.”

Markus nodded in understanding, his eyes held concern.

-Mind if I take look?”

Hank shook his head and Markus walked over to the living room and where he saw Connor laying on the sofa. For a second he even thought it was someone else laying there. He was curled up with a blanket over half of his body, looked so small somehow, not like the Connor he knew who was strong and resolute, and saw the hand towel that was still wrapped around his neck. He scanned him for a moment, Hank watched him silently from where he stood behind him, patted Sumo’s head. Markus soon turned to look at him again.

-Most of his wounds have already self-healed, but his head and voice box took most damage, it’s completely broken.” He informed “He has been completely unresponsive since he came back?”

-Yes. He doesn’t even write in the notebook I gave him.”  

Markus looked back at Connor again.

-I see… he did _this_ to himself too?” he asked softly, gesturing towards the scratch marks.

-Yeah, he has been acting strange ever since he came home.”

-He’s still trying to process whatever happened to him or still thinks he is experiencing it. He’s in what you humans call, a catatonic state.”

-No shit.” Hank muttered, unimpressed. Markus didn’t seem to mind his comment, though, until Hank quickly chanced attitude again, both acting as if his comment had never happened “Markus, do… do you think he was…” Markus didn’t need Hank to say it, he understood what he was referring to.

-It’s a possibility, I’m afraid.” He said softly, wished he never would have even had the thought of someone doing what he and Hank was thinking about to Connor. He needed to know for sure, what had made Connor so scared and was the cause for all this, but mostly who was responsible. He was silent for a moment in thought before he calmly spoke up again.

-Hank,”

-Yeah?”

-Could you please sit down beside him for a moment?” he asked as he knelt down in front of Connor...

-I will connect to his memories, try to find out what caused this.”

-Um, sure.”  Hank said, uncertainly, but did what he was told and took a seat beside him.

-Ya sure about this?”

-If he’s unable to tell us, then…”

-Got a point there, I suppose.”

Markus gently took Connor’s wrist in his hand, their fake skin disappeared up to their wrist and slightly up on their arms, exposed the white underneath as he connected to Connor’s memories…

****

_Connor was on his way to get a taxi and drive home. It was dark and silent around him, nothing unusual until suddenly, three figures showed up before him. Humans._

_-Well, look what we have here, an android.” One of them said, a male, in an almost too calm voice. Markus felt Connor tense slightly at the sound of his voice. The one who had spoken wore a dark hoodie, his hood was down, and blue, torn jeans. His hair was dark and messy and reached his shoulders. Some of his steps were unsteady, as if he was drunk or high. He was the tallest and oldest one of the three._

**_Kaden Balfour, age 29._ **

_“What are you doing here all alone, hm?” he then asked, as if he was talking to a child being out late one cold night._

_-I’m just on my way home.” Connor calmly answered._

_-On your way home, huh?”_

_-Yes, so if you could please step aside and-”_

_-You are giving us orders, huh?” the same man, Kaden, said. Connor went silent, noticed the three people slowly, as they spoke, surrounded him, he felt trapped. This didn’t feel right. He was about to say something else when he was interrupted by the woman in the group this time. She wore a black leather jacket, black tights that melted into the darkness and as messy hair, but it was brown and reached down to her chest._

**_Jayla Becker, age 26_ **

_-Isn’t this the police android that helped Markus in the revolution?”_

_-Yeah, it is.” The smaller one of the men said, he was only wearing a white t-shirt and some dirty sweatpants._

**_Colin_ ** **_Fane, age 20._ **

_“Seems we got lucky tonight.” He continued with a smirk._

_-Look, I’m not looking for trouble.” Connor said, there was a slight stutter in his voice even if he tried to sound calm and collected “I just want to-”_

_-You want, huh.” Kaden said as he walked slightly closer “You are a machine, you don’t fucking want anything or are supposed to tell us what to do. I don’t give a **fuck** what that Markus shit said about android “rights”_

_He then grabbed him by his suit and almost dragged him towards an alley with his two friends after him._

_-P-please I-”_

_-Just shut up and be a nice little android and come here, do as we say and we won’t hurt you that much.”_

_Connor’s stress levels by now was rising in an almost alarming rate and he instinctively started to struggle and managed to kick Kaden in the knee as hard as he could._

_-You little shit!” he hissed as he held his hurt knee and backed away a few steps. The smaller man quickly grabbed Connor by the back of his suit as he had tried to get away, pulled him closer to him, holding a knife against the side of his neck._

_-You better stop struggling or you will just make it harder for yourself. You don’t want that, do you?” He said and Connor’s thirium pump started to pound hard in his chest. Fear. He followed their orders and let them pull him into the darkness of the alleyway. Then the hits and kicks came. Pain in his ribs, chest, something hard hit his head, his vision was just static for a moment before the ground he was laying on were visible again._

_-Stand up, you fucker!”_

_The dark voice of the Kaden said and when he tried to get up, the woman screamed._

_-Hit him again!”_

_And so he did. Connor fell to the hard ground again with a small, pathetic noise. A foot was on his back, pressing him down even more._

_-What was that?”_

_-Please, -s-stop…” his voice was weak and he scolded himself for sounding like that. Every part in his body wanted to struggle, push them away and just get away from there. Get home, but he couldn’t._

_He just couldn’t…_

_His head was pounding from the hits and warnings filled his vision that he was severely hurt. He could barely see anymore._

_-You really are weak, you know that? pathetic! Just like the other android shits.”_

_More words, more hits, he coughed up some blood and he cried weakly in pain. His attackers seemed more amused by this than anything._

_-Aw, he really does feels pain.” Jayla said. They continued to ignore Connor’s weak pleas until the older man grabbed him by the collar and pressed him against the brick wall, his head hit the wall with such force that his vision faded slightly again as everything swirled around him. Static. He down on the ground, Kaden was towering over him like a dark shadow before his blurry vision, kneeling down before him._

_-You know, I’ve always wondered how it is to fuck an android. Everyone I have heard from has had a good experience with them, but I could never afford for one myself.” He said with a smirk and Connor struggled again despite the pain, despite the man ordering him to stop. His stress levels were near critical. He needed to get away from here. The other two held him in place as the man hit the side of Connor’s face and he turned silent. He then pressed him even more against the wall as he took hold of the knife._

_-Don’t fucking move, I said, or I will kill you.” He hissed and pressed the knife against his neck. A scream threatened to escape him, but it didn’t take long for him to realize that the only thing escaping him were small, almost inaudible sounds. He couldn’t speak, couldn’t scream. He stopped his struggling, going completely limp._

_-That’s better…”_

_Connor’s body started to vibrate, it felt like he was going to explode from the pain and all emotions welling up inside him. Kaden now started to unbutton his pants and moving to do the same to Connor who was unable to move…_

_-The hell, man?” a muffled voice from Colin said, sounding far away even if he was right there._

_-Shut up and just hold him.” Kaden sneered and continued what he was doing._

_-I sure will have my fun with you, plastic freak."_

_****_

Markus jolted and backed away, almost fell backwards in the process while Connor did the same with a small gasp. Hank immediately held him close to him while Connor shook uncontrollably in his arms, his head twitched violently.

-Easy, Connor, easy.” he whispered before he stared at Markus who looked as panicked. Sumo barked.

-What the hell happened? What did you see?”

-I…I-” he stuttered, lost for words. “I saw two men and a woman attack him. They hit him and they… he-he _was_ raped, Hank.”

Hank continued to stare for a moment, now he was the one lost for words. He had felt this would come, even if he had tried to not think of it, didn’t want to believe that someone would actually do that shit to him. It had still come as a shock and he tightened his hold on Connor who was now sobbing in his arms. Markus by instinct took some steps closer, wanted to help them, wanted to soothe his friend, but stopped when it only seemed to make everything worse. It was as if Connor didn’t even recognise him judging by the genuine fear and panic in his eyes and how he pressed himself more against Hank, who in turn told the other android to just stay away from him, louder and stricter then he had meant to. Markus did as he was told and backed some steps away again, speechless. He had expected it to be bad but… never this. Seeing Connor so upset made Markus own stress levels rise, but he couldn’t do anything more than to watch and be as far away as possible, his ears started to hurt as he listened to Connor’s small, pained sobs, saw him curl up, as if to try and make himself as small as possible. Markus has never seen him so afraid before. Hank had made him sit in his lap and held his head against his chest, his other hand held into Connor’s, ignoring how he gripped his hand tightly, close to crushing it, while the other held into the sleeve of Hank’s grey hoodie. Eventually Connor’s body relaxed slightly, and his cries turned into shaky breaths. His iron grip on Hank’s hand eased.

-That’s it, kid. Breathe.” Hank hushed “You’re alright.”

Markus felt a small, sudden pain in his chest. He thought of Carl, back before he had died at the hospital not many days after the revolution. Seeing Hank speak softly to Connor and hold him made Markus miss his own father again. He was glad that not all humans were mean and judging towards androids.

-Did you see how they looked like? Who they were?” Hank asked him, not taking his focus from Connor, making him come back to reality again. He was silent for a couple of seconds before he answered.

-Y-yes, I did.”

Hank just nodded at that. He sure would give those sick bastards the hell they deserved when he finds them. Markus glanced down at the now still form in Hank’s arms.

-Is he alright?”

-I think so.” Hank mumbled and stroked Connor’s head again in a calming manner. “Connor? You hear me?”

His LED flashed for a sec before he gave a weak nod. Markus walked closer again, slower this time and Connor eyed him warily.

-It’s alright, Connor. It’s me, Markus.” He said softly, the eyes that looked back at him were upsetting and Markus felt even more bad for him. “I won’t harm you.”

_They knew. They knew everything. They would hate him now, think he was weak and disgusting._

That’s all Connor could think of as he watched Markus come closer. _Why was he coming closer?_ He didn’t deserve his pity as well. He knew he had been crying again, in front of Markus none the less, and his face was damp with tears, but he found he didn’t have the strength to even wipe them away. He felt a sickening feeling in his chest and stomach. Even if Markus voice and expression held no disgust or harm, he could still imagine what he thought of him now. Markus had noticed him freeze up judging by how he slowed down his pace and knelt down before him. As careful as he could, he lifted his hand and wiped some of his tears away.

-Easy there, friend. It’s Ok.” He said softly. This and the fact that Hank was holding him soon made him feel safe. He was safe. And they didn’t seem angry with him…


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

-How was Connor?” Simon had asked when Markus had returned to Jericho, he had stayed at Hank’s and Connor’s house longer than he had expected to help Hank with Connor and Simon and the others had wondered what took him so long. Simon immediately noticed that Markus seemed troubled and was more silent than usual.

-He’s… not well, Simon.” He answered truthfully, and Simon watched him now with concern when he heard the sad tone in his voice.

-What happened?”

-He’s hurt and-” he let out a sigh “Simon, do we have any replaceable voice boxes left?”

-I’m not sure, but we should have, why?”

-Connor’s has been completely broken.”

Even Simon went silent, he didn’t know Connor that well like Markus but he knew they were good friends and what Simon had seen of Connor, he held respect for him. He had saved their life’s and freed the androids from Cyberlife after all. He felt bad as well over hearing that Connor was hurt, and Markus seemed really upset by it. Then it just clicked for Simon.

-It was the humans who did it, right?”

-Yes, it was.” Markus said simply with a low voice, the pain in his chest came back. Guilt. He had thought that the revolution and everything they had done would change the way humans thought and acted towards androids, despite everything, he had really had hoped. But he had been stupid to think that. Off course everyone wouldn’t just change. And now his friend was hurt and would never really be the same again.

-Markus?”

-He was so scared, Simon. I have never seen him like that. I-I thought that everything would be better after everything we did, that the humans wouldn’t… do things like this, but…”

Simon hugged him gently, holding him close.

-There will always be humans that hate us, Markus, nothing’s your fault. But you have still changed the mind of so many humans and we are free because of you, we would never have gotten this far if it wasn’t for you and Connor.”

Markus let himself relax and held him even closer, enjoyed the warmth of his lover’s embrace while the wind blew a cold breeze this dull afternoon, the clouds on the sky had gotten even darker, it would be raining soon.

-Thank you, Simon.” He said. Simon smiled warmly at him and they went to greet the others and try and find what Connor needed. Despite Simon holding Markus hand in a calming gesture, told him Connor would be alright again, the guilt was still there. Connor have never done anything bad to anyone, why would someone hurt him? He promised himself he would do anything to help Connor, it was the least he could do after all the things Connor had done for him and his people.

****

It has been a while since Markus had left and Hank had been eating some left-over pizza in silence beside Connor with the television on low volume.  Sumo had laid his head on Connor’s knee and he stroked his fur while looking forward with empty eyes, he was in thought again, Hank knew it. He tried to not think much of it at first but after what had happened before and the fact he really seemed to be struggling with something, Hank spoke up.

-Something on your mind, Connor?” Connor didn’t move his head to watch him, but Hank knew he heard him. He gave the note book that was still laying on the table before them a quick glance.

-You know, if you need to talk or something, you can tell me. I don’t give a fuck if you can’t speak, you can tell me in other ways.” Connor’s hand that were petting Sumo slowed down slightly as he probably took in what Hank had said. He knew he wasn’t used to this ether, but Hank hoped he would listen to him. He hated to see him like this and not dare to try and tell him what was wrong.

-What are you feeling, kid?” Hank tried again.

It took some minutes more before Connor finally moved to grab the note book and pen and wrote something down, his writing was much faster than a human, as expected, before he showed it.

**_“I don’t know.”_ **

_Well, it was progress at least._

-Try, son.”

**_“I don’t know why but, I feel emotions I shouldn’t feel and can still hear their voices and I feel… sick somehow. Is something wrong with me?”_ **

Those last sentences were like a fucking kick in the gut.

-Connor, nothing’s wrong with you. What you feel is normal. What you have been thru is… awful and could happen even to the best of people.”

Connor’s grip on the pen tightened ever so slightly and he glanced down in disbelief when Hank had mentioned “people”. _He wasn’t a person_ , he thought, but didn’t go further into it.

**_“Will it ever go away?”_ **

-No, kid. It will get better but… the feeling, mostly their words will always be there.”

Connor looked away again with that fucking kicked puppy look that made Hank's heart hurt even more.

**_“It’s my fault. I should have fought back, I don’t know why I didn’t do it.”_ **

-You were fucking scared! Anyone would have gotten scared, nothing’s your fucking fault. _They_ were the ones that hurt you.” Hank said, tried to control his voice while his anger was boiling inside him. If someone was to blame it was himself, he shouldn’t have let Connor go home alone, should have been there.

**_“I’m not supposed to feel fear, Hank, to give up like that, but still I let them. I was weak.”_ **

-Kid, don’t think like that. You are so damn much stronger than you think. You some fucking how managed to get home all by yourself after everything they did, and you are still here.”

**_“But I don’t want to exist anymore.”_ **

Connor was trembling slightly now. Hank’s face softened.

-Son…”

It was all silent for a moment, only the noise from the tv was heard. But then Connor wrote again.

**_“Can I ask you something, Hank?”_ **

-What?”

**_“Am I disgusting? Do you hate me?”_ **

Hank went silent at first, making Connor curl into himself slightly under his gaze as he waited for his answer.

-Why the hell would I hate you? You aren’t disgusting! Dammit, kid, you are my friend, my son. Nothing will change that. You aren’t a tool to me, Connor, you are a person that has been hurt and I promise that the bastards that did this to you will be locked behind fucking bars. I could never hate you.”

**_“I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to hear their voices and feel Him anymore. I don’t want to be scared. I’m broken, I’m-”_ **

He couldn’t bring himself to write more. He let go of the pen and note book, the last written words were unclear. He was vibrating again, and he felt tears threatening to fall, his stress levels at 70%. He was confused, frustrated, felt sick inside.

-Come here.” Hank said and held out his arms slightly in a harmless gesture. Connor hesitated for a couple of seconds before he moved closer and let Hank wrap his arms around him, didn’t hug back but leaned against him silently.

-You will be fine, we will get thru this, like we always do. And Markus and the others will find a way to fix you so you can speak again, ok? It will be alright. Don’t you EVER think like that about yourself.” He said as Connor leaned even more against him, some tears fell but he wasn’t sobbing, he was too tired. Hank rubbed his back. “And don’t you ever think I hate you for what happened, or that the others hate you.” His android continued to cry silently. All Hank could do was to hold him close, show him he cared, that he would always be there for him.

-Hey, remember that fish you told me about, the one you saved before we meet?” Hank said softly, tried to make Connor and himself think about something else for a moment. He felt a movement against him, a nod. “When you get a little better we could go to the pet store together and buy a fish for you, if you would like that.” He babbled. A nod again and he even thought he could hear Connor’s voice say, _“I would like to, dad.”_ even if he couldn’t say it. He even hugged him back with a small smile on his face. Sumo tried to snuggle in between them, wanted to join the hug as well.

****

It was now dark and the raindrops fell from the dark sky, soaked the ground and the wind became stronger and stronger, the streets were pretty much empty on people, they had taken cover from the rain long time ago. In the darkness of the night, three figures were lurking, looking for something to hit, kill. In the front it was a tall man with a dark jacket, the hood was on his head, covering most off his face. He clenched a pipe in his hands tightly. Behind him was his friends Colin and Jayla. He felt that this night would be successful as well. Hidden in the dark, they looked after androids, those fucking androids that was now walking freely around the city, as if they belonged there and were people. Disgusting. Colin had pulled the hood on his jacket over his head as well and shivered and complained.

-You sure we will find something out here in this fucking weather?”

-Stop your complaining, we will find something soon.” Jayla said, annoyed, holding her bat in her own hand.

-Hope so, I’m fucking freezing.”

The tall man in front of them, Kaden, ignored their talking. The rain would cover traces and they have attacked in bad weather before. He then stopped, someone was walking on the path on the other side of the street. She was thin and had a jacket over her, he could clearly hear her hurried steps on the wet ground despite the rain smattering against his jacket. She was on her way home, held a dog in a leash, a spaniel of some sort with brown fur and long, curly ears. He noticed a small light by her temple that lit up the darkness slightly, had almost missed it because of the hood covering most of it, a LED. An android. Probably a maid android. She hadn’t taken the LED out yet. Kaden smiled. She would be an easy victim. He was now shuddering as well as he watched her, but not from the cold, he was exited. Every android they had attacked had been better and better and they had become more and more violent with them. He loved to hear them beg and watch as their skulls were crushed by their pipes and bats. They would often continue their hits until their bodies were unrecognizable or just leave them to suffer or die, even hide them so no one would find them until much later. Machines didn’t have real feelings anyway. It was even better to leave them sometimes. They have always gotten away with their crimes from the police too. Have never been caught. He thought about the android they had attacked yesterday, that police android. He had enjoyed every second on watching him suffer and had even gotten a little too excited. That’s what his friends had said afterwards anyway

_-The hell, man!? I knew we were going to fuck the thing up and all, but not like that!”_

Colin had said.

But it had been worth it. Kaden would gladly do it again, it had felt so damn good. He had been thinking about that nigh ever since he had come back to his apartment, saw before him how he had towered over the slightly smaller form of the android, made him bleed, watch the seemingly real fear in the android’s eyes in almost fascination. Couse it wasn’t real fear, just programming, Kaden knew that. Androids didn’t have feelings or want’s. But it had still been fun. It had tried to struggle at first and had almost gotten away as well, being one of the few that had the balls to try and defend itself. But then it begged them to stop, begged him to stop, but he could do what the fuck he ever wanted. Glad he could silence that piece of shit. It had been to good use at least, made him satisfied, did what it should do, obey. Then they had left it to root in the alleyway, it sure was dead by now after all the blood it had lost and had almost stopped moving completely, Kaden had been a little surprised that it had moved at all after everything.

His grip on his pipe tightened even more in his wet hands and he wanted to get this over with. He glanced around, no police nearby. For now. They had been before, thought, driven around, searching. Kaden knew they had to be quick with this one.

-Let’s get going.” He said, and they quietly ran over the street and followed behind the girl silently. When they were just some meters from her, the dog turned and growled slightly, and the android talked softly to it.

-What’s wrong, Mindy?”

And then she was about to turn. One or two swings with the pipe, and she would be knocked out for a good moment. She barely had time to react when the hit came. The dog tried to defend her at first but then ran away with a whine when they hit the ground with the pipes and bat. Now the fun would begin. If they were lucky they would find even more androids tonight.


	5. Chapter 5

 

The maid android was found early in the morning by some children on their way to school with their bicycles as they took a shortcut thru the park, not long after that, more people saw her broken body that had been hung up in one of the swings with a rope around her neck, barely alive. The police were by the place in an instant, the sight sure hadn’t been pretty.

****

_Chris Miller had been one of the first officers at the scene and one of them who took down the android from the swings, her face was smashed, the right side of her face barely looked like a part of her face anymore and her eye was missing just like her right leg and her left arm, the missing parts was nowhere to be found. The abusers must have taken them, her lips were bruised, her mouth was open ever so slightly, she couldn’t even close it. Blood ran down from her mouth, down her chin. Her eye looked around franticly. Gashes was everywhere on her body and showed the inner workings of the android and she was still bleeding badly, she was dying, Chris knew this, but what he hadn’t expected was when she began to move weakly, her shaking hand clutched into his uniform, her head twitched slightly while she tried to move her mouth to say something. Her LED flashed red._

_-Please…” her voice was filled with static and stutters and was so weak Chris had to lean in slightly to hear what she said._

_-Help me…” she continued._

_-Don’t worry, we will save you, we-”_

_-Too b-b-broken, p-please, help.” She continued, her dim eye looked at him pleadingly. She wanted him to help her. His heart hurt a Little in his chest._

_-What do you want me to do?”_

_-K-kill me, please.”_

_-I…” he almost stuttered._

_He swore. Why did it have to be a deviant? Why did it have to have feelings? Why was she so similar to a human?_

_-Please.”_

_She moved her hand towards where her thirium pump was, her movements slow and weak, only for her to freeze up, only her slight vibrating showed she was still functioning, her eye still stared at him. He could only imagine the fear and pain she was feeling. Did she even feel the pain at all? It seemed like that. She was still talking but now he couldn’t hear her words anymore. She was technically already dead. But it still hurt. He never thought he would feel like this for an android. He could easily just pry her heart out like she had been about to do, make it quicker and easier for her. Just one quick motion…_

_And so he did._

****

The other officers were still looking for the ones responsible, this wasn’t the first android hurt in this kind of way. But it now had gotten even worse. Hank and Connor got this confirmed when they left to go to the station to tell the others what they knew. Hank had at first tied to tell Connor he should stay home, but he had insisted to come with him. And to be truthful, Hank didn’t really want to leave him alone either. They would just tell them who the abusers were and then they would go home and let the rest take care of it.

He had when had woken up this morning found Connor beside him, which wasn’t a surprise. Before they had gone to bed last night he had asked if Connor would be fine on his own, which he had assured he would, only to come into Hank’s room in the middle of the night, as Hank had expected, to lay down beside him, had been having a nightmare he didn’t even know he could have. Hank’s heart had warmed up slightly when he saw that Connor’s LED had turned into a calm blue color again and had looked slightly better since after their talk. He had even taken a quick shower before they left, tried to ignore the feeling of being disgusting, remembered what Hank had told him _. This wasn't his fault. It was Kaden's. Kaden was the one who made him feel like this_. The gash on his neck had healed very well, but Connor still wanted it cowered and took one of his clean suits, the collar cowered most of said wound.

It felt a little weird coming back to the station and Connor was a little nervous, but he didn’t really know why. Perhaps because he wondered what the others would think of him, if they already suspected something.

Once they stepped inside, most of the officers that were there greeted them. Connor felt his stress levels rise slightly at all sudden attention and all people surrounding him, that and the fact he couldn’t replay to them when they spoke to him without using the note book. They seemed concerned over this and had heard about that he had been hurt and Connor had to assure them he was alright. In the corner of his eye he noticed that even Gavin was eying him from his desk, but there was no hate in his eyes like Connor was used to see. He and Hank soon stepped into Fowler’s office and, Connor could have imagined it, but his face seemed to light up when he saw them.

-Morning, Hank and Connor. Good to see you.”

-Same to you, Jeffrey.”

Connor could only nod as a greeting.

-How are you feeling, Connor?”

-He’s fine, nothing he can’t handle, right kid?” Hank answered instead with a small smile and patted his shoulder and Connor smiled slightly at that despite everything, glad Hank had tried to ease the small tension which returned when Fowler asked:

-He still can’t speak?”

If Connor felt his “heart” drop slightly. He knew Fowler hadn’t meant anything bad with the question, but it still hurt to be remined of his mutism.

-No, the bastards broke his voice box. That's why we are here, we know who they are.” Hank answered. Connor wrote their names while both he and Hank explained as much as they knew about them. Fowler would nod from time to time as he listened, they eventually found them on the computer, but barely any information was there and two of them seemed to move from place constantly or live on the streets but they did find out where Kaden was living. Meanwhile, Fowler had said:

-As you probably have heard, there has been another android attacked and was found this morning. Her friend at home said she had been out with the dog, the dog returned home but she never came back. Some poor kids found her while being out with their bikes. She was all beaten up and was left to die, the bastards had even hung her up in the fucking swings with a rope. Even Chris got freaked out.”

Connor froze, fiddling his hands ever so slightly.

-Fuck… is she still alive?” Hank asked, looked as troubled.

-No, she shut down not long after.”

-Shit.”

-Indeed. I bet it’s those kids. I wouldn’t be surprised if they have hurt more androids or were the ones that killed the few ones we found some weeks ago, same weapons had been used.”

Connor felt the sickening feeling return and he barely listened as Fowler continued to speak, could only think about those other androids his abusers had killed and have hidden around the city, to scare the ones that _did_ find them. Connor had been one of the lucky ones that had survived. But what de had experienced and heard, the abusers were dangerous and wouldn’t have a problem attacking more as long as they were free, even humans. Connor wouldn’t allow that more got hurt or killed. Even Markus and the others could be in danger. He hadn’t realized Fowler and Hank had been talking to him until someone touched him, even if the hand felt familiar, he instantly pulled away in surprise from the sudden contact. Only to realize it had just been Hank.

-Ya alright, Connor? You spaced out for a sec there.”

He nodded, tried to ignore Fowler who was now watching them with a slightly worried expression. He sure knew something was up… but Connor wouldn’t let that stop him from helping them catch the responsible for everything…

 


	6. Chapter 6

When Hank and Connor were done and about to leave Fowler’s office, Hank heard his voice behind him.

-Hank, a word. Alone.”

Hank glanced back at Connor who seemed a little troubled over that he would have to wait outside alone.

-Wait here, I’ll be back.” Hank told him softly and Connor did as he was told and went over to his desk to wait for him. Hank closed the door after him and turned to look at Fowler who now looked really serious.

-What?”

-How _is_ he exactly?” They glanced towards Connor who had started to fiddle with his coin, looked clearly nervous. Even Fowler had noticed how tired he had seemed when they came in and… lost, somehow, hadn’t even heard him and Hank talk to him before, and he normally was very alert. Even his movements looked more stiff than usual. “He wasn’t just beaten up, was he?”

When Hank didn’t answer immediately, he continued.

-And don’t act like I don’t fucking get it. Look, like you, I know shit about androids. But _that_ reaction he just had was a _human_ reaction after having been experiencing some kind of trauma, Hank.” He pointed towards where Connor had stood some moments ago and had pulled away from Hank when he had touched him, to make a point. Hank let out a small sigh. Fowler deserved to know the truth out of all people and he trusted him to just keep it between the two of them.

-He was raped, Jeffrey.”

Fowler stared at him for a sec. Both shock and anger in his eyes.

-And he still wants to work?”

-Yes, he insists on it and wants to help us get the abusers.”

-He should still be home.”

-Don’t you think I tried to tell him that?” Hank argued, while still trying to have his voice low so Connor wouldn’t hear him. He himself had hoped that it would have been enough that Connor reported the criminals, told Fowler their names and all and they would then drive home again, but Connor had other ideas and it hadn’t helped when Hank had tried to talk to him. He knew he wouldn’t change his mind until they were caught. Fowler held his face in his hand in slight frustration.

-Alright, but when you’re done with them, just go home with him and stay there until everything gets better.”

-That was already on my mind.”

-Good.” A small pause “You can go now.”

He quietly left the office and Connor stopped what he was doing and looked up at him.

-You still sure you want to do this, Connor? You don’t _have_ to...”

A nod. _“I’m sure.”_

-Alright, then. Let’s go.”

***                                                                   

Once Kaden Balfour and the other two had come home to his shitty home, (The apartment wasn’t in the best condition and was old, just like the neighbour’s, but you could live in it. That’s all what mattered. That’s why houses existed, so you could have somewhere to live.) they pretty much threw their weapons to the hall floor, had almost forgotten that the neighbours were sleeping by now.

-Shut up, you idiots!” Kaden hissed.

-Sorry, man.” Colin said, looked at their weapons that was covered with blue blood, just like the hall floor. Fuck.

-See now what you did! You two better clean this up now!”

-We are not your freaking slaves.”

-Maybe, but it’s _my_ fucking floor!”

-Alright, alright, chill.”

While they cleaned up, Kaden took their wet jackets and threw them into the bathroom. Those two were like his fucking kids sometimes. They didn’t even have real homes, poor bastards, ran around, avoiding the police. They would sometimes stay for days in his home, but he didn’t really mind. He took out the android’s eye they had ripped out from the android from his own jacket and laid it on the table in his bedroom. Then got back to the bathroom and shut the door to take a shower, get the disgusting blue blood and dirt of him. He watched as the blue liquid ran down the drain with the water, felt the too hot water stream down his body, almost burned his skin. His muscles relaxed, and he thought back at what they had done this successful night. The sight off their masterpiece had been perfect, beating it hadn’t been enough, no. He had to hold her while Colin and Jayla tied a robe around her neck and hung her in the swings, he had never thought Jayla could climb that good. They had just thrown away the arm and leg into the trash somewhere, he had already forgot. But he didn’t really care about it anyway. The maid had been shaking, her voice filled with static as she had cried for help and tried to beg. That had only made everything better. It somehow made him feel like he had all power in the world. As he would watch the slowly “dying” robots, he felt so damn alive. The feeling never got old. They hadn’t found another android after that, but it didn’t matter. They had gotten satisfied enough anyway. And he could only imagine everyone’s faces when they would see this. If he was lucky, it would even be on the news. Their warning had been clear, they didn’t give a fuck what those androids supporters and that Markus thought. If they thought hate would be over, they were wrong. Once he was done and dressed he collapsed into his bed, which squeaked slightly from the sudden weight, enjoyed the darkness that filled the room, only the lights outside shined thru the holes on the curtains. The other two prepared to sleep in the sofas in his small living room. Kaden held the android eye and rolled it in his palm, inspected it for a moment. The dead eye stared at nothing with a hollow stare that normally would make anyone get goosebumps, but not him. It was cool and beautiful to him somehow. He knew he was fucked up in the head, and he liked it. He breathed in the smell of smoke in his apartment. Would gladly have taken a smoke himself and some red ice now too, get high, he deserved it after all the dirty work he had done today, but he couldn’t bring himself up, his body had already been filled with it from before he had gone out with the others and he was tired. Fuck it, then. He could do it tomorrow, would celebrate with the other losers. He looked up at the ceiling, wondered what they would do next. The police sure was desperate now, he knew this. But it was part of the fun, he would get away anyway, like he always did. And if, when he would get caught, the damage had already been done and he would be known everywhere. He would still win. As he listened to the rain outside smatter against his window, his eyes began to drift. He fell into a dreamless slumber.

The next morning, he woke up thanks to a car horn going out outside and Colin and Jayla were watching the television. He went out and was immediately meet by Colin’s voice, and after some quick half-heartedly good morning’s:

-Look, man! It’s on the news.” He glanced at the tv screen. Recordings of the park was visible and police officers were everywhere. He sat down by the arm of the sofa and listened.

_“An android was found this morning in a playground, she was severely beaten and beyond repair. The police are still looking for the ones responsible for this crime. This isn’t the first time and they think it’s the same people beyond these android crimes. They are very dangerous, so we will warn both androids and humans to-”_

-It won’t take long before the police find us.” Colin said to the others out of the blue.

“What will we do then?”

-They won’t. They have never gotten us before and won’t do it until it’s too late.” Kaden said. No android had been functional to tell who they were so the police had nothing to go on.

-What do you mean?” Jayla this time asked.

\- We're going to kill Markus and the other shit-heads.”

-Man, we can’t just walk straight into the place he is in, there are many more androids there and… I don’t know but-”

-You are not with me?”

Colin and Jayla gave a quick glance towards each other before Jayla spoke.

-Yes, we are, but don’t you think this is a little-”

-If you don’t wanna help me, fine! I’ll do it myself.” Kaden stood up and went to the small kitchen to get something to eat. Dammit, why did they have to be such cowards sometimes? They had become that more and more. If they weren’t gonna help, he could do this himself or find other “friends”. He heard the others talk quietly behind him for a moment before he heard Colin say:

-We are with you, dude. We will help you.” Even if he didn’t sound too happy about the decision, it was something.

-Good.”

But not long time after when they had been sitting in the sofa together and celebrated just like Kaden had been thinking about yesterday, they heard sirens outside. Colin was quickly on his feet and ran to the window.

-Dude, it’s the police!” he said, panic in his voice.

-What?” Kaden asked more to himself than him. How the hell did they find out? And sure enough, when he and Jayla looked thru the window, they saw three police cars. They parked outside the apartment and a few police officers walked towards the main entrance. Fuck.

-I told you we were fucked!” Colin said with a voice that clearly said ‘I told you so’.

-Wait, they maybe don’t know we did it. They probably are just-” Jayla began to try and calm the situation.

-Shut up! They are gonna arrest us and you know it!” Colin screamed while Kaden looked after a way out. He went to the kitchen window instead and saw the downpipes leading down and it was a bit from the police cars. The pipes were old but could manage their weight. They could slide down.

-Come, hurry!” he said and they hurried over to his side.

-You crazy?” Colin asked.

-Come on.” Kaden said and quickly put on his shoes and slided down the pipe before them, faster than he had thought he would thanks to the rain last night. The other two now heard steps echo outside the door as the police went up the stairs. Jayla went after and lastly was Colin just when there was a knock at the door.

-Detroit police, open up!” he all but jumped out the window in his panic and almost lost his hold on the pipe but managed to grasp it and they went down, down until they hit the ground. He almost thought they would get away without being noticed but that’s when they heard one of the officer scream at the others.

-Shit, they saw us.” Kaden hissed and ran, didn’t pay any attention to his friends trying to catch up with him.

-Hey, man, wait for us!” Colin called but he didn’t listen, just continued to ran as fast as he could, saw an escape. An alleyway with a gate, he climbed over it with ease while he heard Colin and Jayla call after him again, but he only listened with half an ear and continued to run, water splashed around him as he ran over the puddles.

Colin and Jayla had barely managed to climb over half the fence before they felt someone grab them and bring them both down to the ground and held them down. More steps were heard and two police officers hand cuffed them while ordering them to be still. Once they pulled them up from the ground to lead them to the cars, Colin looked to see who had stopped them. He was lost of what to say at first. It was the fucking police android. How? Didn’t they…?

-Its you.” He said, voice filled with hate and slight surprise. “But we fucking killed you!” he screamed, and Connor backed away slightly, memories of the two younglings hitting him came back and Hank was by his side seconds later and asked if he was alright, he didn’t pay attention to him, though. He looked towards where Kaden was running and saw just when he came to the dead end turned right and disappeared. He was gone. No.

-Don’t worry about him. He won’t get far.” Hank told him, but Connor ignored him and went to climb to get after him, tried to not pay attention to his body telling him no as well and even started to hurt because of his quick and sudden movements.

-Dammit, Connor!”

Once he got to the other side he ran straight forward, tried to not think much of the weird feeling he couldn’t really describe he felt by being in an alleyway again and just continued until he was by the end and then turned the right way that led to the streets again. The traffic was ongoing, and people had started to surround the streets and he noticed Kaden was running past everyone, pushing people aside and Connor took charge again, managed to not bump into people as well. Kaden was surprisingly fast and easily ran over the road and some car horns went out and one of them braked, almost crashed into another car and into the small mass of people that was waiting for the green light in the process. Some off them screamed in surprise and fear and quickly backed away. Connor followed. But after a small chase, Connor lost Kaden who disappeared by another block and his stress levels began to rise. _He was losing him_. He tried to use his scan to find out where he was or find any trace of him, but his head immediately started to hurt and everything around him began to spin and he couldn’t bring himself to continue his chase, his body had given up. He had to stop. Kaden was gone. Everything was his fault and even when he heard the police sirens and saw some of the cars driving around looking for him, Connor was still angry at himself. If the others didn’t find him, he was to blame. He should have been faster. Shouldn’t have let his body and systems betray him and slow him down like that.                                                 

****                                              

-Now, tell me where the fuck your so called “friend” is.” Hank asked, stared at the two younglings before him, only the table between them was the thing separating them. Connor, Chris, Gavin and another police officer were listening in the observation room, looking thru the glass window silently.

-We told you!” Colin half yelled “We have no fucking idea where he is hiding now, why does it matter anyway?”

-You are responsible for android abuse, killings AND rape! Isn’t that enough?”

-Whoa, whoa!” Colin said and held up his hands “We had nothing to do with _that_! It was Kaden’s-”

-I don’t give a fuck whose idea it was, you were there as well and witnessed it.”

-So what?! It’s a machine and it started to struggle, it was its own fault.”

-He!”

-Whatever. I thought it was weird at first too, but now I kind of understand why Kaden wanted to fuck that thing! He sure seemed to have his fun with that little **fuck toy**!”

Hank stared at him, fire in his eyes and had to control every single muscle in his body to not lunch at him and beat the shit out of him.

****                                                      

_“I sure will have my fun with you, plastic freak.”_

Connor’s body started to vibrate, his chest arched as he struggled to control his breathing.

_Pain. Kaden thrusting himself against Connor. He knew he was bleeding._

_-You’re so fucking nice.” Kaden’s voice swore. If Connor could, he would have screamed, if he had had the strength, he would have struggled. But he couldn’t. The firm hands that held him down and touched him was cold, just like His voice. But it still was as if the touches burned him._

_-Such a good fuck toy.”_

**> STRESS LEVELS- 70%**

Gavin was the first one to notice Connor’s sudden change in behaviour. He hadn’t noticed it at first when he had glanced over at Connor to see his reaction to the boy’s word. But then could see his slightly trembling hands, his eyes held what Gavin could only describe as fear and his light thing was flashing yellow and red like crazy, as if it was a broken traffic light or something _. The fuck was wrong with him?_

-Hey, dipshit, what’s up with you?” he asked casually. Connor didn’t answer, off course. Didn’t even look at him like he had expected him to do.

-Connor?”

His tone had changed slightly by now. Chris and the other officer in the room was now looking at him as well. It was as if their eyes buried themselves into Connor, made him feel small and exposed. The pain in his chest increased.

-Kaden sure is going to kill him for telling you when he finds him, AND his little friends. That little s-” he heard Colin began before more screaming from Hank could be heard as they argued, he was clearly pissed off. But Connor could barely make out what they said anymore. Everything started to get fuzzy as memories filled his mind and vision. He tried to focus, but it was as if he was back in that dark alleyway again.

**> WARNING: STRESS LEVELS- 80%**

Focus, focus.

_-Now hold still. Good, just like that.”_

_Before he could stop himself, Connor let out a small whimper._

_-Yes, cry for me, you little fucker.”_

-Shit, Connor!” Gavin snapped and grabbed his shoulder a little roughly to get his attention, make him snap out of… whatever he was in. This time Connor reacted and abruptly backed away from him, pulled up his shoulders slightly, as if to curl into himself, LED flashing red. His breathing was coming faster.

-Hey, hey, calm down.” Gavin said, now more with concern than anything, while raising his hands slightly to show he meant no harm and didn’t move closer to break the distance between them. Even in the dim room they were in, he saw that Connor’s eyes were glistening more than usual. Was he…?

Ok, now Gavin was really getting nervous.

-Shit. Do you need to get out or-” he almost missed the weak nod from the android. Chris was quickly on his feet and went to get Hank.

“I-I will help you out, ok? I won’t touch you.” Gavin assured while he followed Connor to the door and opened it. He wasn’t moving with the same grace Gavin was used to see and held his hands close to himself as he tried to calm down. He looked like he would collapse at any second and Gavin had to stop himself from moving to support him, remembered what happened before when he had touched him. Connor slumped down by the wall once they got out, pulled his knees close to himself as he cried silently and gasped. Gavin had not expected this kind of reaction from him. What the hell was he supposed to do now? It was Hank’s doing to take care of the plastic prick, not his. But it actually hurt to see him like this. He never thought he would ever think like that about a machine.

-Connor, you will be fine, ok? Hank will be here soon. Just… just breathe.” He tried to reassure him, didn’t know what else to do. The last thing he wanted was the android to fucking destroy himself. Hank would kill him if he let that happen. But the small distressed noises, that sounded like whimpers combined with static and other strange noises, from Connor just became louder and he curled up even more and held his head in his hands. His body shook violently. Gavin was now really freaked out at this point, and it didn’t help when he tried to stay calm and speak to him. Connor didn’t hear him anymore, didn’t know what was happening or where he was. He wasn’t at the police station. He was alone in the dark, with _Him_.

 _Hits to his face, felt pain he have never felt before, hands all over him that felt like claws against his skin_.

He curled up and held his head in his hands, tried to shut off the world around him, get away. It didn’t help. His body shook violently.

**> WARNING: STRESS LEVELS- 95%**

_Calm down, calm down. Just stop this…_

Voices. Footsteps. Someone was touching him. _No_. No more. He couldn’t take it. He pressed himself more against the wall. A figure knelt down before him as he threw his head back as hard as he could, slamming it against the wall. A hand gently touches his arm and he heard someone speak softly, but he couldn’t hear what the voice said or who it belonged to. When he tried to throw back his head a second time, the hands carefully grabbed him, pulled him forward and he was pressed up against something soft and he started to struggle weakly.

_“No, please.”_

Small whimpers came from deep within his throat as he tried to get away, tried to smash his head against again, just kill himself. It wasn’t just because his systems told him to do so, he _wanted_ to. That would be so much better than this, anything would be better than this. He didn’t want to be here, he-

The voice was heard again, filled his ears while a hand tried to hold his head still. _Why?_   He needed to die, needed to end this, he couldn’t take it anymore.

-Connor, listen to me, you need to breathe, ok? You're okay, no one’s gonna hurt ya…”

The voice was calming, soft, familiar. The person holding him was warm. Felt safe.

_“Hank.”_

Connor soon stopped his struggling, a sudden exhaustion hit him, and his body went limp. He wept. The voice hushed him gently, continued to speak reassurances and Connor now tried to just focus on that while he instinctively buried his face against the person that filled him with warmth, made him feel safe and protected, let himself be held, felt a warm hand rub comforting circles on his back. His breathing slowed down.

-I’m here, son, I’m here. You’re safe.”

When Connor had calmed down and lifted his head slightly to look around, he realized he wasn’t in the alleyway. He was at the DPD just like before, he was on the floor with Hank who was holding him. Not one soul was there except them, had they left? What happened while he was “gone”? Had everyone else seen everything? What happened to Colin and Jayla?

-There, kid. That’s it.” Hank softly said into his hair and patted his back. “We're going home now. I shouldn't have let you persuade me to come working again when you still feel like shit. Come.” He helped him up again, Connor glanced at the door the closed door to the room they had just left.

-The others will take care of this from now on. We will fucking stay home for now. You have done enough today, you did great.”

No, he hadn’t. Kaden was still free, and everything was his fault. He shouldn’t have been so weak and let him get away when he had been so close. But he didn’t have the power to struggle any further and let Hank lead him out. Some of the officers, Chris had been one of the first ones, came and wished him to recover well and looked at him in real sympathy. Gavin was quiet, which surprised Connor, but looked as concerned. Connor hated to be seen like this. When they finally reached Hank’s car, he helped him sit down in the front seat beside him. Connor looked thru the car window at the sky, tried to concentrate on something else than what had just happened. Why did he even react like that? This was the fourth time he has had a break down, but they still confused and scared him. He shouldn’t feel like this. Shouldn’t be this weak. He really was pathetic.

_Pathetic, failure, freak, fuck toy._

Not even Hank’s voice beside him that told him _“You can’t solve everything, Connor. Everyone makes mistakes and have their bad days.”_ And _“Don’t care about what they said back there. Nothing is your fault!”_ made the words in his head disappear.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

 

The drive home was like the way to the station, mostly quiet. Hank would glance from time to time at Connor who was looking thru the window beside him. Except the tiny jerks of his head, he was so still that Hank thought for a moment he had passed out or something. _Couse, damn, he did look exhausted_. The bruise on the back of his head that had just started to heal too looked now almost as bad as it had before. The image of him slamming his head against the wall was still on Hank’s mind and would probably be that for a good while, even Gavin had been lost of what to do, he had looked clearly nervous and even worried, something Hank never would have expected to see. _He maybe wasn’t that big of a jerk after all_. Hank had seen people having panic attacks before, some had gone through same awful things as Connor. He himself has had a few after Cole’s passing. But he could only imagine the fear and panic Connor felt when he experienced them.

When they finally got home and Connor tried to stand he immediately felt dizziness wash over him and he was still shaking, Hank walked over, had to help and steady him as they made their way towards the door, which wasn’t that much of a struggle thanks to Connor’s surprisingly light weight that leaned against him. But Connor still felt guilty, Hank looked tired as well and Connor knew it must be because of him, he hadn’t meant to be such a burden to him lately, couldn’t even walk on his own, but was mostly angry at himself because he had destroyed everything just because he had to have one of those… episodes. His hand gripped into his jacket, clung to him just like he had done when he had come home _that_ night. A soft wheezing sound came from him as he tried to say something. Hank glanced down at him, saw how he tried to form the words “Sorry”. Hank sighed. The kid had really started to act like a kid now, he couldn’t blame him thought.

-Kid, just stop. You haven’t done anything.” He said as he gave him a look to quiet him. He fell silent again almost immediately.

-Let us just get the fuck inside and sit down, you look like shit.” Hank continued with brutal honesty. Connor would have laughed if it had been under other circumstances. Once they got inside, it didn’t take long for Connor to get comfortable in the living room and Hank found him holding Sumo close, hid his face into his fur.

They all three spent the next hour together in the comfort of their home and Connor felt better just by being home again, away from all noise and everything else, trying to forget what happened before. With his family. Yes, that’s what Connor would call it. Before he had become deviant and got to stay with Hank, things like family hadn’t really mattered, he was made and trained to complete missions, nothing else. Never felt the need to be liked or appreciated, he was just a machine after all. But things were now different, and he had slowly gotten used to live with them. The thought that they were a family had been a both new and… a happy surprise for him, he didn’t fully know what to think about it. He would think about Kara and the little girl Alice, how they wanted to be together and make a family of their own. He thought about Markus and Simon together, the two Traci’s at the Eden Club, how they all had something in common, they wanted to be together. Some by romantic love and some by family bond. He knew now that even back then, he had felt something deep inside of him when he saw this, even when it had confused him. It was love. Love and family. After the revolution, something always told Connor that Hank was more than a friend and partner to him, realized how clingy he had gotten around him these past few days, wanted him near, felt a sudden need to have him close and felt safe when he was there, wanted him to hold him close. He hadn’t felt like that for anyone before. It was weird but somehow felt natural and… nice.

_“You are my friend, my son. Nothing will change that.”_

It wasn’t unusual for him to call him “Son”, he has done it before, like when they had been on a mission and Connor had done a good job and Hank would sometimes ruffle his hair and say:

_-Great job, Son.”_

Connor had even referred him as “Dad” a few times. At first when he had called him it had been by “accident” but then the name would just suddenly come from his mouth like nothing, as if it was normal. The very first time he had called him that, Hank had gone silent for a second, it was as if his life flashed before his eyes and Connor had been quick to apologise. Hank had smiled faintly.

_-No need, Connor. I was just… thinking.”_

Connor could never replace Cole, they both knew this. He wasn’t supposed to replace someone, he was the one to get replaced, not the opposite. But the warm feeling has always been there anyway, and he felt he could relax around him, knowing he was safe and with someone who _cared._

Even Hank had realized how much Connor really meant to him.

****

Sometime later that day Markus arrived with a bag of the tools that were needed and the bicomponent for Connor. He had come there alone, knew it would only cause more stress for Connor if more people crowded him. They others had even asked if they should come with and he had calmly said he would be ok on his own and would be careful. He hasn’t told anyone about what really happened to Connor, he wasn’t the one to tell it. Connor would hopefully do it once he got better, but for now it was just between them. Some of the other androids seemed to have an idea of what happened but didn’t say anything, didn’t want to suspect something that maybe wasn’t true. Simon and Josh were understanding and didn’t push further into it, North on the other hand wanted answers, wanted to know what he wasn’t telling them. But when she realized she wasn’t going to get a full answer, she didn’t pressure it. But Markus could clearly see in her eyes she wanted to know what was going on, she had also seen how upset Markus had seemed when he had gotten home from Hank and Connor when he found everything out. She was normally hard to read but she seemed worried over Connor as well.

Markus had been careful on his way to the house, looking around from time to time for danger. Even if it was not that late yet you could never be too careful. Markus slight tension calmed, however, once he stepped inside the house again. Connor was in the living room, this time with Sumo that was laying curled up beside him, almost didn’t fit in the small couch, with his head on his lap. He lifted it once Markus stepped in but laid down again when he saw who it was. Connor looked a little better but far from alright. His hair wasn’t as messy and the towel that had been around his neck was gone, but he still looked tired and slow in his movements. But what made Markus really frown was that thought that the scratch marks on his arms and wrists were almost gone, his head had been even more damaged, a few more of his sensors broken, had been hit against something hard, likely self-inflected as well. The thought made something inside Markus drop. Connor looked up at him, his eyes was slightly unfocused, the slight jerking of his head was still there, he reminded him of Ralph when he did that. It was shocking that Connor was still functioning and even aware of anything by now. Markus still managed to give him a warm smile while he set his bag down.

-Hi, Connor. How are you feeling?”

**_“I’m fine, thank you.”_ **

He wrote down. Markus nodded but clearly wasn’t convinced, he looked into his eyes carefully.

-You sure you’re alright?”

His friend now looked unsure of what to answer and looked down. Markus glanced towards the bruise on his head again.

-You’re still in pain and more damaged. Further harm has been inflected to your head.” Markus stated calmly but he could still hear the worry in his own voice, Connor still didn’t answer, his fingers twitched.

-Connor?” Connor returned his gaze towards him again.

-Did you do it? Did you harm yourself?”

A nod.

-Intentionally?”

Connor froze, his stress levels raised slightly as he was in thought. He had barely been conscious when he had done it, but it had surely felt like he knew what he was doing, remembered the need to just die, get away somehow. Markus was about to say something else when Connor wrote down something again.

**_“I don’t know. I just wanted it to stop.”_ **

-Make _what_ stop, Connor?”

**_“Everything.”_ **

One simple word with more meaning to it than Markus could have thought.

-I-I can hardly imagine what you are going through and how you feel, but dying isn’t the solution. The things they said and did to you was wrong and the words will be there for some time even when it’s over but… you aren’t what they, _He_ said.”

-He’s right, kid.” Hank said softly.

_Then he didn’t want to feel or react to anything. He just couldn’t stand this. Didn’t understand everyone’s worries, didn’t understand their sudden need and tries to fix him when they could just replace him, make him to not feel. But a part of him told him that that would just upset Hank, and he didn’t want to upset him. He just wanted things to be normal, didn’t want to be a burden, didn’t want help, didn’t want people to worry and be so upset. He was just… a thing. Why were things suddenly so… complicated? He barely knew himself anymore._

His head started to hurt, and he felt a knot form painfully inside him. The looks Markus and Hank gave him were calm but more serious than he has ever seen them. He knew he should believe their words, but another part of him told him that wasn’t the case. He hadn’t realized he started to shake again until he heard Markus again.

-Connor, can you still hear me? Can I come closer?”

When Connor nodded again, he went over to his side and knelt down on one but made no move to touch him.

-It’s alright. I know you’re scared.” He said softly “It’s ok to feel like this, you don’t mean less to us just because of it. Me, Hank and all the other are worried because we _care_ about you. You do matter to us, more than you could ever think.”

As he spoke, relief filled him when Connor’s stress levels lowered to 20% and his shaking subsided a little.

-Look, I have brought the right things to fix you. I can make it stop hurting. But… fixing your voice could be a little difficult to do and it is a big risk it could hurt you even more. If something goes wrong I…”

Connor knew what he meant by that. He wouldn’t be able to speak again unless he asked Cyperlife for help. But he trusted him. He looked up at him and let his hand touch his arm calmly, his expression told Markus what he needed to know.

**_“It’s ok. I trust you.”_ **

Markus gently held into his hand in response.

-Thank you, friend. Do you want to be asleep while I do this?” he asked gently even if he knew the answer “Hank will be here as well if something happens.” Connor nodded.  He _was_ tired and didn’t want to be awake when Markus would touch him and risk to panic again, even if he knew he would never intentionally hurt him. He didn’t want any of his “nightmares” either, but he had no other option. He let Markus move over carefully to touch his LED and he fell almost instantly into rest mode. Sumo jumped aside so Markus could start fixing Connor.

-What happened before he started to hurt himself, Anderson?” he asked while he was working.

-We caught two off the bastards that has been around, despite I tried to tell him we should get home instead, and he was pretty much alright at first. But as I interviewed them, Connor started to panic and when I got out to see what was going on, he was panicking, trying to smash his head against the wall and the others were freaking out.”

-Did the abusers say something to stress him like that?”

-They said some shit, yes…” Hank said, danger in his voice as he thought back at what the boy had said, wished he really had beaten him and his friend into a pulp just like they did to the other androids. “Said their friend Kaden was gonna kill him and… you, and that he was just a toy and shit.”

Markus bit his lip, felt anger over hearing those words. They, mostly Kaden, had done this, hurt Connor and more of Markus’s people as if it was some kind of sport. Enjoying it. Even now, Kaden was taunting Connor mentally. Markus has never felt this much hate for a human in a while. He knew Connor was also blaming himself for his escape, making everything even worse. He knew Connor could be stubborn and wanted to make things right despite what everyone said. That was both the bad and good with him, Hank surely knew this even better than Markus since he was always with him. It would take time for Connor to recover from this and Markus promised if Connor needed help, he and the others would always be there for him.

In the middle of his working, Connor started to move slightly in discomfort and his hand gripped into the sofa, as if he was dreaming something. Markus put a hand on his shoulder to try and keep him still. If Connor moved too much, everything would end badly. Before Markus got time to call Hank over, he was by Connor’s side as well in an instant, even if his knees hurt slightly in protest as he knelt down to the floor. He took Connor’s hand and held it while he spoke calmly to him, Markus tried to not get distracted by this and the soft whimpers that escaped Connor. But after some seconds that felt like long minutes, Connor went still again but Hank stayed where he was.

-How long will this take?” he asked with a low voice.

-More than an hour I would believe.” Markus answered, to which Hank nodded. “You’re ok to stay with him?” his voice held slight concern, he could see that Hank was tired. But Hank’s protectiveness was stronger. He wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway.

-Yeah, I stay right here.” He answered confidently, kept his eyes on Connor. His friend, his partner, his son.

_“You will be alright, Son. Just hold on.”_

He thought, hoped it would somehow reach to him.

_****_

It eventually turned dark outside, the house was quiet, only Sumo who would walk about to get food and the small, low talks from Markus and Hank could be heard. Hank had put one of the chairs from the kitchen beside the couch Connor was in, being close in case Connor needed him but also made room for Markus so he could work more easily. Connor was completely still, looked more peaceful than Hank has ever seen him after what had happened. Markus was nearly done now. Everything had worked out better than he had expected when he had fixed the minor injuries. He was as careful as he could when he replaced his voice box, even if it seemed to be working, he was still worried. And seeing Hank being worried over Connor as well made the feeling grow.

_What if something went wrong? What if **he** did something wrong?_

Markus sure have been insecure over things before, this was one of the worst times. But Hank and Connor trusted him. He took a few, silent breaths to control his slightly vibrating hands. Hank had to look away with a low curse as Markus replaced the voice box with little incident. Everything turned silent again once he was finished, painfully silent and they could just wait for the young android to wake up.

Finally, a small, raspy voice broke the silence. It was barely heard but still reached Markus, Hank and Sumo, making them turn their heads towards the owner of the voice.

-Hank…”

-Connor.” Hank said back. Dazed brown eyes looked back at him, watery by tears. Hank knelt down again to get closer. Connor repeated his name and Hank gave him a small smile, as if Connor had been a human child that had just said his first words.

-Yes, Connor. It’s me.” He said.

-Are you feeling alright?” Markus asked as he put a hand on Connor’s arm, so carefully, as if Connor would break any second “Does it hurt?”

-N-no… thank you…” he replied, barely above a whisper. Markus gave a nod. When Connor weakly reached for Hank, he immediately hugged him close.

-Dad.” He heard Connor softly whimper against him as he sniffled, finally being able to say it with words.

-I’m here, son. I’m here.” Hank mumbled while his son desperately held into him. Sumo went over as well and snuggled them. Markus walked aside to give them some space, felt a warm feeling spread inside him and gave a small smile towards the small family before him.

_Connor was going to be fine._

_Everything was going to be alright, eventually._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the end of part 1 of ‘Tears of Time’ I hope you liked it and that the end wasn’t too sappy. I will continue soon with the sequel ‘Feel safe in your arms’ so stay tuned. Since school has started again, updates will be a little slow, but I’ll try and write as much as I can. Anyway, thanks for reading this story :)


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